If there is one subject that can be stressful to discuss as parents with our children, it's sex. Add in the fact that we are trying to teach them to lead a lifestyle that involves purity, and it becomes more than just a talk about the "birds and the bees." We have had the chance to review a home study course that helps you tackle this sensitive subject called Sex by Design written and taught by Abby Ludvigson.
We have a very open floor when it comes to talking about sex with our teenage children. I have always said that I want them to feel comfortable in coming to us with any questions that they might have. Teaching them to wait for marriage and backing it with Biblical support is something that a lot of parent's are faced with. Right now we have a 16 year old daughter who is just starting to date so this topic has been at the forefront of a lot of conversations lately. Abby Ludvigson helps parents approach this subject because she not only teaches about it, she has lived a life of purity herself.
Who is Abby Ludvigson? Abby is an urban missionary who had a strong desire to understand the issues youth are faced with today. She is also very passionate about living out the life of purity for herself, and to be a role model for today's youth. She understands what it's like to wait for your true love and the trials that come with that. Abby decided to design a curriculum to support and encourage parents of teens to help them along with this important topic.
I know as a parent that this can be a sensitive topic. Every day our children are exposed to sex. It's on TV, all over the Internet, in books, and certainly talked about in their schools. As parents, we want to make sure our children are prepared for this as they come into their teen years. We want them to have a plan before they are put into situations that require them to make what we call adult decisions. With Abby's help, we can put a plan in place, and hopefully arm them with knowledge to help them focus on purity and feel prepared.
The curriculum is broken down into seven segments or topics.
- Segment 1 ~ Plan Ahead: Living Pure in a Sex Saturated Culture
- Segment 2 ~ Counting the Cost: Every Decision has a Price Tag
- Segment 3 ~ Dating: Doing Relationships God's Way
- Segment 4 ~ Sex: God's Purpose and Plan
- Segment 5 ~ Modesty: God Cares What I Wear
- Segment 6 ~ Pornography: Its Deception and & Steps to Get Out or Stay Out
- Segment 7 ~ Secondary Virginity: Running Back to God
Some of these topics may seem a little intimidating, but honestly Abby is very sensitive in how she covers each topic. This program is not meant to be something that is taken at a fast pace. Abby wants you to take time to cover each topic in depth and really dig in to it. There are two approaches to it. You can do a run through of all topics and then go back through it a second time and dig deeper. Or, you can take the approach we are, and take it slow on the first round, digging deeper into topics that you feel are most important as you go.
We have worked through the first two Segments. We are still actually on Segment 2 because I feel it's a very important topic. When we sit down to have a lesson, we first talk about what is going to be discussed, and then we watch the video. I love the videos because the teens get to hear Abby herself teach each topic. Like I said before, Abby does a great job in covering the topics in a sensitive manor, but also really grabbing the teens attention.
While watching the video, Edyn likes to use the Film Outline in her book to take notes. This gives her something to look back at for quick references. The book even has a full Film Script that she can go back over and read again if she needs to. We then move on to the Follow Up/Discuss It questions. This is where you can really dig deep and foster some great conversations with your teen about the subject that is being discussed. The next part of the segment called Personalize it is where your teen can take what was being taught and apply it to their life. They can take some time to themselves and work on the Bible study that Abby includes in the back of the book. It even gives them time to really read, apply, and memorize some of the scriptures that are in the book to apply it to their lives. Lastly Abby has a section called Apply It. There are additional resources added in, and even other books that Abby suggests that follow along with the topic at hand.
Here's a little overview of what we've done so far. In Abby's first Segment she talks about planning ahead. She wants teens to have a game plan before they are put into difficult situations. She talks about when she was 12 and making a personal pact with herself to live a life of purity. She even took steps to make it more concrete in her life such as signing a purity pledge, getting a purity ring, and even having a special picture frame for her future husband. Edyn had already started this process herself, because she too at a young age decided that she wanted to live a life of purity. She has a purity ring that she wears daily, and it means a lot to her. It says True Love Waits, and it's a constant reminder to her WHY she wants to wait for marriage.
The second Segment is all about the cost of having sex before you're ready. Abby covers topics such has pregnancy, STD's and even the emotional toll sex can take on you if you're not ready. One of the things that has embedded itself into Edyn and Gavin's mind is the "Sexual Exposure Chart" that Abby shows. This chart gives you numbers and what it looks like to have multiple sexual partners. It's pretty scary to see it like that. Every decision that's made involving sex can have a consequence whether good or bad.
The five Segments following continue to talk about important topics in a teen's life. I am looking forward to digging into the next one because it talks about dating someone with the same values and sticking to your convictions.
The five Segments following continue to talk about important topics in a teen's life. I am looking forward to digging into the next one because it talks about dating someone with the same values and sticking to your convictions.
Sex by Design has been a very welcoming curriculum, and couldn't have come at a better time. Taking the time to talk to our teens about the importance of waiting and living a life of purity is so important in this day and age. I love having the support from Abby Ludvigson in the form of this program to help the discussion move along a little smoother, and help me to give my teens the knowledge they need to live the life that God designed for them.
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